1) People who leave the foil/paper bit on the margarine carton. Why? It’s not gonna keep it fresh – that’s what the lid’s for.

2) Women who talk during the football, then glare at you if you do the same during Eastenders.
The rules are simple: Sit, say nothing, cheer when my team scores.
That’s it!

3) People who don’t say thanks when you hold a door open – it only takes a minute.

4) Girlfriends who ask if they are fat.
You’re not.
And if you were, I’d lie.

5) The person who decided to put a slit in boxer shorts.
It’s annoying, and anyway – blokes pee over the top, not through the slit…

6) The postman, who often decides not only to deliver my mail to me, but also my neighbours.
Can’t you read?

7) The person who decided to write on the side of the cotton buds packet: “Do not insert into ear canal.”
And what do most people use them for?

8) People who cross the road when I’m approaching them – usually clutching their handbags/purses/wallets.
I don’t have a criminal record, never mugged anyone, and have never snatched a purse.
Though I might have to start.
That’ll teach ‘em…

9) Stewards and stewardesses on airlines who nowadays seem to think it’s ok to become charity collectors once the flight takes off.
Just because I’m belted into a seat, thousands of feet up with nowhere to go, STILL doesn’t mean I can be embarrassed into donating to whatever charity is in fashion at the time.

10) Supermarket checkout staff who ask “Would you like any help packing?” when I’ve only got 3 items.
Are you taking the piss?

Copyright © Mark A. McPherson 2012.
All rights reserved